Bitter Taste
by Marlene101
Summary: Hawke is heartborken after the night Fenris abruptly leaves. Her strength is drained and she finds comfort in Anders' arms. Although she tries to desperately forget him, Hawke finds herself haunted by the thought of that night. Perhaps she is not the only one. A love triangle of Fenris/HawkeF!/Anders. A short story with only a few chapters in mind. Feedback would be wonderful!
1. Chapter 1

**This occurs sometime after Hawke helps Aveline confront Donnic on that ridiculous quest. The companions are simply enjoying a lovely drink at their usual spot, but Hawke's mind is in shambles.**

**I wish I could claim ownership of the idea of Dragon Age, but if I did… I would probably be rich. And I'm not. So, I don't.**

* * *

The drink in front of me tasted like piss. Worse than piss. Maybe it was just the bitter taste in my mouth. I took a look around the table of my companions, laughing and enjoying themselves at the Hanged Man.

It was Aveline's sort of engagement party. I was truly happy for her. Traveling from Ferelden and losing her husband, even if he was a Templar, made her stronger than ever. I think of her as one of my most beloved friends, and helping her declare her admiration to one of her fellow guards made our friendship deepen. So, I tried to smile that night. I truly did. If not for myself; for her and Donnic.

I took a sip of the piss in front of me to keep my mind from rambling.

"Are you sure you are ready to take on this fiery red-head?" Varric called out, slapping Donnic on the back. "She will be quite a handful. I promise you that!"

"Indeed. I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't…" Isabella chimed in, rambling about their wedding night or some nonsense.

Merill asked a question about what exactly her statement meant, making her naiveness more evident than ever.

The table laughed and Donnic gently took Aveline's hand.

"I assure you, I am most certain of this woman and the life we will lead," he spoke, in a solid voice.

I felt Ander's arm around my shoulders slightly squeeze and I know he is thinking of our future. I feel my gaze dart across the table involuntarily at the one who truly occupied my mind.

"What about you, Anders? When are you going to gather enough of that manly courage and finally officially claim Hawke, once and for all?" Isabella exclaimed, taking another swig of her drink and throwing a wink across the table.

"I assure you, I have no thought of ever letting her out of my sight," Anders replied, not missing a beat, and buried his nose in my hair.

I closed my eyes and fought the urge to cringe, as I forced a small smile. I felt an unfamiliar blush creep up my neck, as I heard a throat clear from across the table. It almost sounded like a growl. Only one man was capable of such a sound that would pierce through my heart.

I slowly opened my eyes and instantly my breath was taken away. The look that Fenris sent me across the table was a wish of death, itself.

We hadn't talked comfortably in some weeks. And never alone. Ever since that night.

_He slowly turned from the mantle over the fireplace. I caught myself staring at his wide chest, and fought the urge to drag him back down onto the bed and run my hands over his bare chest._

"_Hawke… I cannot…"_

"_Fenris? What do you…"_

"_I can't do this. I CANNOT! The memories, the pain. It's too much."_

_I stood up, ignoring his pleading eyes, and rushed over to him._

"_Fenris. Fenris, please."_

_I placed my hands on his arms, and I felt him pull away and grab his armor and weapon._

"_I'm sorry," he said, not looking me in the eye. Then as he swiftly dressed himself, he finally started for the door. Stopping just before turning the handle, he said the words that would haunt my every thought for the next month. _

"_This never should have happened."_

_I felt my heart drop down into my stomach as I sank to the floor. I sobbed myself to sleep that night and many nights afterwards._

The feeling of Ander's hand across my thigh brought me back to reality with a gasp. I stole a glance across the table at Fenris' narrowing, breath-taking green eyes, and another feeling bubbles inside of me.

_Why the hell should I care what he thinks! Anders loves me. More than loves me. He truly cares for me and does not hate me for what I am. We are both mages and he understands my struggle. And he doesn't push me away. He doesn't make me cry. _

"Fenris. You must stop your brooding. Don't your eyebrows ache from being drawn together all of the time?" Isabella exclaimed, draping her hand lazily across his chest.

I felt my blush deepen as I realize he does not remove her hand.

"I'm afraid I must be going," Fenris abruptly stood from the table.

"Already?" Isabella whined.

"You really can't be leaving now? We haven't even bought the third round of drinks!" Varric shouted.

"Nontheless, I am leaving," he mumbled, throwing a slightly-apologetic glance towards Aveline and Donnic.

"Fenris, wait!" I bursted without thinking.

My mind rambled trying to find an excuse for my outburst.

"I… I was thinking about hunting slavers… on the Wounded Coast tomorrow if you would… accompany me… and others." I desperately tried to get his eyes to connect with mine to no avail.

Fenris simply grunted and walked out of the Hanged Man without another word.

My heart plummeted with his response and I felt Anders lean close to my ear. "Let's leave as well. I can tell you wish to go home."

I nodded, smiling up into his face, silently thanking him for his suggestion.

"I'm afraid we should be going as well," Anders announced as we both stood.

"Congratulations, Aveline," I whispered in her ear as we hugged goodbye.

"Thank you for coming, Hawke. And thank you. For everything. Without you, I would not have this happiness," she replied with a rare smile.

"Anytime, Aveline." And I meant it.

Anders took my hand and we set out towards Hightown.

"Why did you never mention this expedition to me?" He asked after we went from Lowtown to the edge of Hightown.

"Hmm… what?"

"Your expedition. To the Wounded Coast tomorrow. I wonder why you never mentioned it to me."

"Oh, I… I just remembered it actually." I wasn't a lie.

I felt a twang of guilt, wishing I cared for Anders as he did for me. Shortly after the night with Fenris, I finally gave in to Anders advances. It was like all of my strength was drained from my body and I needed support. That support happened to be Anders' arms. It's not like I did not love him. I did. I do. I do love him. But when I think of that night with Fenris… His hands on my back, his breath upon my neck…

Suddenly I felt myself slam against the wall of a nearby building and Anders towering over me. My arms were trapped at my sides with the surprising strength of the mage, and I felt my mouth gape open at the intenseness of his gaze.

"I demand you to tell me what you are thinking, Mariah Hawke," he commanded, his breath hot against my cheek.

"Anders… I."

My thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of his lips along the length of my neck.

"Mariah," he whispered huskily, into my ear.

I closed my eyes, and tried to concentrate on not losing the strength in my legs.

A sound like the rustling of armor forced my eyes to flicker open as I gazed across the square to someone leaving around the corner. A flash of white hair stole my breath away. Fenris. He had seen.

"What is it?" Anders asked, hearing my gasp. He turned his head to try and find the disturbance, but still held onto my waist.

_Fenris. Let him brood. Let him bury himself with loneliness. It shall serve him right. Maker, I hope he feels the pain he has inflicted upon me._

I pulled Anders' head around and crashed my lips upon his. His shock quickly wore off, when he pulled my body closer to his with a moan.

I dug my hands into his hair, imagining Fenris' silver strands that were slightly too long.

I could almost hear Fenris growl "_Venhedis_" at my tongue darting into his mouth.

His lyrium tattoos seemed to carve themselves into my own flesh as his touch was carved into my memory.

I hated him for making me like this. For completely losing control. I hated him for never leaving my thoughts. That hate made my passion border on madness as I kissed Anders like my life depended on it.

Anders pulled back, breathing heavily, with a completely astonished look on his face and asked "Maker, what was that for?"

I simply took his hand in mine and lead him to my mansion with a determined stride.

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**To be contined!**

**Holy crap. That took me awhile. This really didn't turn out the way I was imagining it but… hopefully everything will come together in the next chapter. I have always loved the thought of the love triangle between Fenris, Hawke, and Anders. We shall see who shall win Hawke's heart! Cough. Cough…. It's Fenris. :)**

**Any comments whatsoever would be most appreciated. I'm hoping to post a new chapter soon. Hopefully with some feedback, I can see what the readers are thinking so far!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much to all of my followers and reviewers for this story. Every single one of you makes me smile! **

**It took me awhile to start up with this story again, but I have an idea of where it's going to end up eventually.**

**Thanks again for the feedback, and yes, I do feel awful writing Anders like a poor sod… but it's all good. **** :) I promise.**

**As always, Dragon Age is still not mine… Darn.**

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I stood in front of the door to his mansion. I straightened my robes for the twenty-seventh time and took a death breath.

Closing my eyes, I steeled myself to reach out and grasp the handle.

As soon as I felt the cold steel against my fingers, I pulled back and let out an exasperated groan.

_I can't see him. Maker, I cannot enter this house alone. What am I talking about? I see him all of the time. Of course I don't truly see him…. In order to see someone, you genuinely have to make eye contact._

I took another massive breath and turned around to the door once more. It was my own damn fault creating this expedition. And Mariah Hawke NEVER goes back on her word. I rolled my eyes at my utter distaste with myself and reached for the handle once more.

Suddenly the handle was taken out of my hand and the door was pulled open under my grasp. My weight fell forward and I stumbled into the last person I expected.

"Hawke!" Isabella exclaimed, genuinely surprised.

"Isabella. W-w-what…" I started. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?! I wanted to scream.

_I'm sure there is a simple explanation. Isabella is simply leaving alone from Fenris' mansion… Early in the morning. And looking surprised._

"I was simply trying to convince Broody in there to finally move out of this drab old joint," Isabella explained, motioning to the crumbling mansion.

"Ah," Was all I could manage to sputter out.

"I wouldn't bother with him today, Hawke. He is in quite a rotten mood."

"When is he not?" I muttered, involuntarily.

"Touche," she replied with a wink as she slipped past me and heading back to Lowtown.

I pushed my curiosity from my mind, and strode into the mansion with another deep breath.

_I am surprised that I haven't passed out with all of the rapid breathing I have been doing only this morning._

I made my way through the foyer and up the stairs, clinging to the railing and trying to gather my composure.

As I entered his room, I saw him leaning one arm on the mantel over the fireplace. The image took me back to the night he left me. I had no less desire for him now than I did then.

I heard the cracking of a glass, and I gasped looking down to see that I had stepped on one of the numerous shards of glass from several bottles scattered on the floor.

I looked back up to see Fenris' muscles in his strong back go stiff. His fists tightened and he stood up straight without turning around.

"I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM…" Fenris roared with an echoing rage that made me flinch.

As he twirled himself around, he stopped suddenly. His eyes widened and I saw his mouth slacken. Although I still stood in the doorway, I could see every emotion cross over his face.

Rage. Shock. Realization. Confusion. And then he returned to his stoic self.

"Hawke," he barely croaked.

Maybe Isabella was right. Perhaps I should not have come.

"I c-c-can… leave if you wish…" I stuttered, as I started to turn around.

I pleaded silently for him to let me go. To let go of my heart, the way he let go of me that night so long ago.

"No. Stay." I heard his steady voice call out.

I closed my eyes and turned around, partly wishing that he had not said anything.

I opened my mouth several times, but found that my vocal chords had stopped working temporarily. Instead, I tentatively stepped farther into the room and stood behind the chair that I used to sit in so often. I looked down at my hands grasping the sturdy wood and found myself missing our old talks. Or rather arguments. I couldn't remember when I had ever enjoyed arguing more than I did with Fenris.

We always seemed to have opposite views on everything. The mages. Magic in general. My lack of understanding when it came to his stubbornness of drinking away all of his time away in this mansion.

I found myself smiling at the memory of one of the last conversations we had together in this very room.

"_Why do you suppose Varric doesn't have a beard?" he asked me with an amused smirk._

_I let out a bark of laughter and took another sip of the drink in my hand. _

"_I'm not sure. I have never seen him shave or anything… Perhaps he lacks the hormones," I replied with a grin, matching his own._

"_Or all of his facial hair ended up on his chest."_

I missed those types of conversations. I missed Fenris. Even when we weren't agreeing, which was often, I found myself enjoying the grinding of his teeth and the drawing together of his eyebrows that were so much darker than his own hair color.

I looked to see Fenris standing at the fireplace with wide eyes, and I realized that he was waiting for me to speak.

I remembered when those eyes were looking down into mine as he ran his hand through my tangled blonde hair. There was no questioning in his eyes at that moment. Instead only desire. His lips demonstrated more desire than words ever could.

"What is it you require of me, Hawke?" He asked, crossing his arms across his chest.

I looked up to expect a look of impatience, but instead his eyes held a questioning gaze. I suddenly felt exposed like he was aware of all that I had been thinking about.

"I just wanted to remind you about the…um… slaver hunting. On the Wounded Coast. Maybe in some of the…caves," I finally spoke, grasping the back of the chair for courage.

His face was unchanging as he took his time walking over to the bench that sat across the chair. I was surprised when he did not sit, but simply stood with his arms still crossed.

"If you need me, Hawke. I am yours," he spoke, his eyes never leaving mine.

I felt my heart skip a beat. Of course, he was only speaking of the expedition, but oh, to hear those words from his lips again. _I am yours. _

The crackling of the fire brought about a specific negative memory and I straightened my back.

"Yes, well. I don't **need** you, but I simply thought you would be interested."

He sat down, and I took that as my cue to leave. I whirled around so fast, my staff loudly whacked the chair I had been standing in front of. I jumped at the sound, but kept walking towards the door.

"Hawke," I heard his deep voice call me.

I stopped in my tracks with one hand grasping the door frame. I looked over my shoulder with a questioning gaze.

"Will…he be coming?" he asked.

It took me less than a second to understand what he meant. Will Anders be coming. Although he did not say his name, I knew it must have taken a great deal of self-control for Fenris not call him "the abomination". And for that I was grateful.

I simply nodded back to him.

I saw him release a breath and look into the fire.

"We are meeting at the Hanged Man at noon," I said finally. I didn't wait for a reply as I flew down the stairs, my robes almost causing me to fall.

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**To be continued…**

**I know this was a pretty slow chapter, but I wanted to get some Fenris and Hawke memories in here. It breaks my heart when they are depressed. I just want to skip to the end where they have an awesome kiss! ;)**

**Aw well. Patience is a virtue…they say.**

**Thanks again for following and reviewing. Any criticisms are welcome. I take them all to heart!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A thousand apologies for the delay. What can I say? School sucks. But now that it's over, I am free to continue my beloved story!**

**Thanks again to all of my followers and reviewers! I hope this next chapter doesn't disappoint you all! **

**I finally have a relative idea as to where the heck this story is going. Which rocks :) **

**Enjoy and leave comments!**

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"You were an idiot to leave Hawke," I heard from behind my crouching position.

I finished harvesting the elf-root in front of me with a roll of my eyes. I was behind a rock, out of the line of sight of my companions, but I could hear every word. Every tense word.

"And you were fast enough to replace me," I heard Fenris snarl back at Anders' comment.

Not missing a beat, Anders retorted, "I love her. You can't even imagine what that is."

I cringed at the truth in Anders' words. I did not know if Fenris was capable of love.

"Do not bear your heart to me, mage. Unless you would see me rip it out!" I heard Fenris growl, followed by the sound of an unsheathed blade.

I hastily tried to finish my work, and put away my knife, fearing the worst of what could happen.

"Would you two idiots shut up?! Andraste herself is probably rolling her eyes!" I heard Varric speak up.

I sheathed my small harvesting knife, grateful that I had thought to bring Varric along. A small smile tugged at my lips as I remembered just hours earlier.

"_Could I ask a favor of you, Varric?"_

"_I told you before, Hawke, I am not letting you braid my hair," the dwarf answered with a smirk._

"_Are you in the mood for some extra action? Particularly where slavers are concerned?"_

_A slow grin spread across his face as he slammed down his ale. "Always."_

"_Thank the Maker. The others are supposed to meet outside the Hanged Man soon." I breathed a sigh of relief and took a drink._

"_You need me anyway, Hawke. You need someone to keep Blondie and Broody from tearing each others' heads off," He said with a wink._

"_Precisely," I replied with a sad smile. I looked down at my drink, scorning myself once more for inventing the whole expedition._

"_Hey, Hawke. If it makes you feel any better, I would make you my wife in a heartbeat."_

_The spontaneous comment took me by surprise. I let out a bark of laughter that was even loud for the Hanged Man. I looked across at him with a wide smile._

"_Why haven't you, then, Varric?" I asked with a wink of my own._

_He tugged at his sleeve and looked up with a teasing look. "Well, now no offense, Hawke, you just… really aren't my type."_

"_And why is that?" I raised an eyebrow, genuinely curious._

"_I prefer the short-and-stout type," he replied._

_I clicked my tongue, shaking my head. "What a pity. We could have been something special, Varric."_

"_Maybe in another life, Hawke," He raised his mug._

_I sent him a grateful smile, and raised my drink to his._

I smiled at the memory, knowing that I could always count on Varric for a laugh. Snapping back to reality, I ran my hands down my emerald green robe and took a deep breath. Coming out from behind the rock, I saw precisely what I had imagined.

Anders stood, legs apart, with a slightly blue hint to his usually wheat-colored eyes. Fenris gripped his unsheathed, massive greatsword and his exquisite markings were beginning to glow. And Varric stood between them with his arms crossed.

I remembered running my fingers over his markings once. That night, they glowed as well. But a different type of glowing. I can still hear his intake of breath as I ran my lips across them.

After blinking a few times, I cleared my throat. Not wanting any blood spilled, other than slavers, I quickly plastered a smile on my face.

"Shall we continue?" I asked, not waiting for an answer, as I strode past them.

I heard grumbling behind me from every one of them, but I continued to the nearest cave.

"Where precisely are we headed, Hawke?" Varric asked, coming up beside me.

"I…um… I had some information from… a contact. They said that some slavers had occupied a cave," I stammered, starring straight ahead.

"And where is this… cave?" Anders asked from behind me.

"There!" I shouted, pointing to the nearest cave.

"There?" Fenris spoke.

"There. I bet my life on it."

I prayed to the Maker that there would be slavers inside. Or any enemies at all. I simply pointed to the nearest cave, it's true. But we had wasted too much time already. I wanted to get this day over with.

"Shall we?" I asked, grasping my staff from behind.

"Hawke?" I heard a voice behind me.

I kept walking toward my target. _What on earth was I thinking? I should have just stayed home. Maker, I had plenty of other things to do… I just wanted…_ _I just thought…_My strides became longer and faster and my breathing deepened.

"Hawke!" Fenris repeated, inches away from me.

I felt the slightest of touches on my shoulder, and I took off in a full-on sprint toward the cave. I heard calls from behind me, but I kept going. I just wanted to kill something. I needed to release the tension. I needed to stop thinking.

As I finally entered the cave, I slowed my pace only to catch my breath. I didn't turn around, but merely placed my hands on my knees, trying to obtain some oxygen. I leaned against the cold, hard cave wall and closed my eyes, waiting for the others.

Not waiting long, I was surprised to see Fenris run into the cave, looking around frantically. When his eyes met mine, we both continued to breath heavily.

"Hawke. What in the world were you-"

He didn't get to finish his question. His voice was drowned out by the sound of rocks. Falling rocks. We both looked towards the entrance to see massive boulders crashing down. Dust and tiny pebbles crashed around us, and my eyes widened at the sight. The light was slowly diminished as a final rock collapsed.

Then there was darkness. Dusty, filthy, pitch-black darkness.

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**To be continued…**

**Get ready for some intense action and conversations in the next chapter! Emotions will unfold as well as the characters themselves! I can't wait!**

**Thanks for reading!**

**P.S. Sorry I always use so many exclamation points… I must sound annoying. I'm just so excited! :D**

**HAPPY SUMMER!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here is chapter four! I decided to extend the story into a few more chapters because I recently acquired more ideas. You've just gotta love the imagination! Anywho, this story is going a bit longer than I originally thought which is perfectly fine for me. **

**Enjoy and feel free to leave comments, please!**

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Although my ears were still ringing, I heard my own cough clearly. I blinked several times, trying to discover if my eyes were actually open. All I could see was… well, nothing. Black. I had been thrown from the cave wall and I was now sprawled somewhere on the damp ground.

"Hawke?" I heard a deep voice rasp.

"Fenris?" Cough. "Fenris. I'm… I'm here," I replied rubbing my forearm that slightly stung.

Slowly standing, I raised my hands in front of my body, searching for the cave wall. Once I came in contact with the jagged rocks, I clung to the wall like my life depended on it. Darkness always proved to be a great fault of mine. The lack of control of not being able to see anything terrified me. Even when I was a child, I remember Carver teasing me.

"_You are supposed to be the oldest! Why don't you want to come play hide-and-seek with us?" he asked with his arms crossed._

"_I just… don't want to, alright?!" I replied, taking a quick peek behind him into the dark night._

"_Come on, Carver," ten-year old Bethany said, grabbing his hand. "She doesn't have to come if she doesn't want to." Sending me a sweet smile and an understanding wink, she tugged on his hand._

"_You are still afraid of the dark?! I can't believe it! You are supposed to be an all powerful mage. You have to deny demons. What happens when a demon approaches you through darkness?! What if…" Carver rambled on, resisting Bethany's pull._

_Bethany interrupted, looking up with her wide, blue, innocent, kind eyes. "Mariah. We can use our staffs… As a light. Father taught us the spell."_

That was it**. My staff!** I reached behind me, devastated to find that it was no longer secured to my back. I franticly searched the ground around me.

"Hawke! Are you injured?" Fenris' voice asked, not too far away from me.

"No. No, I'm fine. Fenris! My staff. I need to find my staff. Please, help me!" I exclaimed, feeling wetness in the corners of my eyes.

I heard the shuffling of his armor near me, but felt little comfort. I felt the darkness closing in on me even further, and I let out a whimper, desperate to have light. My hands frantically continued to search to no avail. I felt only sharp rocks and bigger boulders. It felt like the air was being pulled out of my lungs, and I began to panic.

"F-f-fenris?" I asked through trembling lips.

"I found it, Hawke. I have it. Follow my voice." I heard him to my right.

He talked as I continued to crawl and finally I felt his hand reach down to mine. Grasping tightly to his forearm I let out a sob as I clung to him. My mind went blank as I wrapped my arms around his neck and let out small sobs into his neck. His body was stiff, but after a few moments, I felt his arms wrap themselves tightly around my waist. Leaning his head down, he murmered in my ear, "What ails you?"

Distracted by the feel of his arms around me and the effect that his voice had on me, I physically couldn't answer. I let out a gasp when I felt something in his hand. Feeling the familiar texture of my wooden staff, I choked on a sob and ripped the weapon out of his grasp. I quickly recalled what my father had taught me and a bright light appeared from the tip of the staff.

My eyes squinted to see Fenris, squinting directly in front of me. I slowly waved the staff around, taking in my surroundings. We were still in the entrance of the cave. There was just a mountain of rocks blocking the would-be-opening.

Taking several steady breaths, I turned back to see Fenris' eyes with a curious look that seemed rather concerned. I reached up to wipe off my cheeks and mumbled, "Thank you. I… I don't like the dark."

He cleared his throat with a bow of his head and walked past me toward the cave-in.

I frantically dried all of my tears, embarrassed to have shown a weakness. I was Mariah Hawke: The Mage. The Champion of Kirkwall. I defeated the Arishok on my own, Maker's Sake! I could not let a simple thing like darkness break me down so easily. Especially in front of a man who could very well be another weakness of mine.

"How could all of these massive rocks simply fall?" I wondered aloud, coming up next to him, waving my staff for more light.

Fenris crouched in front of me and his hands found a small, frail line of string. He stood up, fingering the string and showed it to me.

"What is it? What's a piece of string have to do with anything?" I asked, looking at his hand.

"It's twine. Don't you see?" Seeing my furrowed brows, he pointed to the ground in front of us.

I followed his finger along the cave floor to see the remains of a long string that stretched across the entire entrance of the cave.

"A trap? Someone put this here?" I asked, unfathomed at the magnitude of the effect of this simple twine. I silently cursed myself for running ahead of my companions. If Varric had been with us, he would have detected the trap in a heartbeat and we wouldn't be in this mess.

"Yes. They were just waiting for someone to break the twine and trap themselves in," Fenris said in a serious tone, turning to the opposite side of the cave.

I turned and followed his gaze deeper into the cave. Although my staff failed to illuminate very far, I could tell that we were not alone.

"That means that someone is waiting for us down there." I said, gripping my staff tighter.

"Yes. And considering that is the only way for us to go, I suggest that we continue forward," He replied, unsheathing his massive sword and starting to walk deeper into the cave.

After taking one last look at the pile of boulders, I rushed to Fenris' side with my staff lighting the way for us.

"How do you suppose mere thugs or slavers could come up with such a trap?" I wondered aloud.

"I do not know. Somehow, they did," Fenris replied, stopping at a fork in the cave's path.

We each looked back and forth between each of the paths. Each way looked exactly the same to me, and I dreaded that we would split up.

"Turn off the light," I heard Fenris whisper.

"What? Why?" I asked, gripping the staff harder, looking at him with wide eyes.

"Your staff." He repeated, still peering down the right tunnel.

I looked from my staff to Fenris' strong back that was turned to me, and it became harder to breath. The thought of willingly giving up my source of light, my source of sight again.

After a few seconds, he spun around with a look of annoyance that quickly faded once he saw my face. Apparently I showed a great deal of terror because his face softened and he stepped closer to me.

"Trust me," he whispered so soft, I would have doubted he even spoke it if I hadn't seen his lips create the words.

I swallowed when I felt his hand brush away a stray tear that I, apparently, had shed. Closing my eyes, both to relish in his touch and to gather my courage, I willed the spell away.

I opened my eyes, expecting to see the horrid darkness once more. Instead, I was shocked to see something down the right tunnel. The slightest of lights. A very dim orange light could be seen down the tunnel.

"Come," I heard Fenris speak into my ear.

As we continued, slowly and quietly, down the right tunnel, the light grew stronger. Farther down I could see torches lining the walls.

"Someone definitely occupies this cave," Fenris spoke, motioning to the lights.

Rounding the next corner, my eyes widened at the sight. The cave opened wider to reveal a large open cavern occupied by dozens of thugs. It seemed like any other cave we explored on our quests except for two small things. First, instead of a team of four skilled fighters, Fenris and I were alone. And second, and most importantly, these enemies were expecting us.

And they were ready for a fight.

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**To be continued…**

**Thank you for sticking with me on this story. Sorry the chapters are so short, but I want to organize key events that occur. I am excited to see where the story will lead! The next chapter is coming soon.**

**Please review and I hope you guys are having a grand summer!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Get ready for some action! YEAH!**

**This is more of a transitional chapter to the next one, so it is rather short again.**

**Enjoy and please review!**

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They were normal thugs. Or at least they appeared to be. They bled like any other thugs. The battle started quickly with the thug leader's cry to attack. I instantly unleashed my most powerful spell which involved devastating fireballs plunging down on the entire area.

Most of the thugs started howling and patting themselves in order to douse the flames on their armor. Fenris took this opportunity to strike. Letting out a bone-chilling warrior cry, Fenris rushed through several enemies at once and swung a backward arch, throwing the men backwards.

As I released a cone of frigid ice crystals, Fenris quickly slaughtered the frozen, unfortunate thugs.

Looking around to calculate how many remained, I came to a surprising realization. Fenris and I made a fantastic team. Fighting, I mean. Combining my weakening of enemies from afar and his crucial strikes, I realized the power we produced. Soon, the cavern was occupied by all of the dead thugs… excluding one.

The thug leader, I soon realized, was a rogue. As Fenris and I approached him, he quickly kicked himself off of Fenris' back into an impressive back flip and seemed to disappear into thin air. Fenris and I exchanged gazes and we both tightened our grips on our weapons. Suddenly I heard the shattering of some sort of glass or bottle and I was surrounded and consumed by smoke.

Waving my arms frantically, trying to obtain some sort of visual, I suddenly felt the presence of another being behind me. Aware of a rogue's devastating double blade attack to the back of an enemy, I immediately dropped to my knees and tried to roll away. I realized that I wasn't quite quick enough when I felt a searing pain slash across my left shoulder down to my upper arm.

I let out a cry of pain as I rolled over my wound through the rest of my awkward summersault. Reaching over to cover the red slash across my pale skin, I looked up after hearing a fierce growl from Fenris. He had come up behind the rogue, using his own battle technique against him, and plunged his greatsword through his unsuccessful armor. The tip of Fenris' sword slowly retracted as the leader dropped to his knees and fell forward with a groan.

Fenris stared at the form for a few moments with a look of pure hatred, then plunged his sword into the corpse once more. Then, without looking back, he quickly rushed over to me.

"Hawke! Damnit, Hawke. You are injured," he talked quickly, kneeling beside me.

"I'm fine… truly. 'Tis only a scratch," I replied, flinching at his cold, pointy gauntlets that merely surprised me rather than caused me any pain.

He ripped off the gauntlets with a growl and flew them across the cave. Eyes wide, he slowly pulled back the material of my, once flattering, robe. The material revealed a clean two inch slice into my own flesh.

I almost laughed out loud at the minimal wound.

"Trust me, Fenris. I have had much worse," I spoke with a slight smile.

I suddenly wanted him to stop touching me. However splendid it felt, his touch brought back far too many painful memories. I rambled on, trying to cower away from his close proximity. "Fenris, truly. I am fine. Remember the shape I was in after my duel with the Arishok? Maker's breath, his blade had gone clean through my stomach. I couldn't walk for weeks. But Anders fixed me up and-"

"I remember," he interrupted with a firm voice and a glare that held several emotions. Anger, Betrayal, Desperation, and finally Angst.

I soon found myself unable to tear my eyes away from his. It had been so long since I had truly looked into his eyes. Our faces mere inches away from each other, and I examined his eyes. His gorgeous green eyes that had… Wait. How could I never have noticed the golden flakes in his eyes? Maker, he was stunning.

I saw his gaze dip lower, and it took me only a second to realize that he was now staring at my slightly parted lips.

"F-f-fenris? We… we should find another exit…" I breathed, determined to not look at his own mouth.

After a slight pause, his eyes darted back up to mine, and a beautiful pink spread over his tan cheeks. "Yes, I quite agree."

To my relief, he slowly stood, and I could finally breathe once more. I grasped his offered hand and I let out a gasp at another pain in my body. My ankle throbbed from rolling away from the leader in an awkward position because of my shoulder wound.

"Hawke? Your ankle?" Fenris asked, flinging my arm around his neck for support.

I simply nodded with a grunt and closed my eyes.

"Come, let me set you down."

He placed me on a flat chunk of wood that could only be described as a log that had been placed around some sort of campfire. I looked around to see the rest of the cave. The thugs certainly had their own kind of paradise in here. There were dozens of crates that lined the walls, that I assumed contained food, weapons, or other supplies. They had built their own sort of bunk beds that also lined the opposite wall. And in the middle of it all was a massive campfire surrounded by logs identical to the one that sat underneath me.

"Hawke. I have been thinking," Fenris started, retrieving his sword from the thug leader's blood-stained corpse. "Perhaps we should stay in one spot for awhile… Just until your ankle heals. You obviously cannot walk on it, and we both need energy to search out an exit. Besides…" he motioned to the mountain of crates, "we aren't exactly in want of resources."

"Fenris. I can make it. Once we find an exit and then Anders can heal me…" I suddenly stopped short as Fenris' eyebrows drew together at the mention of his name.

"I forbid it," he spoke, staring down at me.

"W-w-what?" I stammered with wide eyes.

"I forbid you to walk any more until morning," he repeated with a firm voice and a set jaw.

"You cannot- I am a grown woman, Fenris! You cannot control me… YOU DO NOT OWN ME!" My temper flared at his dominance over me.

He stepped closer as his eyes deepened even more. "You will not move from that spot until I know that you are healing properly."

I narrowed my eyes. Of course, he was using the 'I care about your welfare' card. Fine, I would have to put up with it. I certainly couldn't outrun him. And as much as I dreaded to spend the night with him near me, there was no chance of my escaping the situation.

Seeing my response, or lack there of, Fenris sheathed his blade and strode over to the first crate and opened it, peering in.

I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes at his back, reminding myself that he was somewhat thinking of my welfare. Somewhat.

* * *

**To be continued…**

**I feel this story coming to a close. The next chapter will definitely be the best one. The climax!**

**It will be uploaded very soon! I already wrote it in like… maybe 10 minutes. It was the most fun to compose :)**

**Thank you oh-so much for reading and reviewing! **


	6. Chapter 6

**It is my pleasure to introduce to you all…. (drum role, please) my favorite chapter!**

**This is actually the very first scene I wrote. Instead of writing a one-shot, I decided to write the previous chapters to deepen the characters and to build up to this chapter. **

**Get ready to drool! (I know I did)**

* * *

I let out a hiss at the feel of the healing poultice that Fenris gingerly applied to my shoulder.

"Almost finished," he murmured with a concentrated look.

I closed my eyes to try and distract myself from the pain. Nothing helped. I tried to think of Bodhan and Sandal back home. Cheerful Sandal, who was obsessed with his enchantments. Varric and Isabela's game of "Who would you rather do?" Merril's persistent questions about what "do" meant. Not even thoughts of my mother's smile could tear my mind away from the throbbing of both my ankle and my left shoulder.

"I don't know why those bloody potions have to bloody hurt so bloody bad. They are supposed to heal you, for Andraste's Sake!" I exclaimed as Fenris began to seal the bottle. I thought of how easily and pain-free a healer could have simply cured me. "I wish Anders was here," I murmured, looking down at my ankle.

"I bet you do." Fenris muttered back, moving to sit on the log next to me.

I snapped my gaze to his. "What is that supposed to mean?"

He looked back with a gaze that was anything but dead-serious. "Can't you two stand to be parted for a few moments? That… DEMON follows you everywhere, Hawke. He's not even-"

I stood up abruptly, ignoring the pain that followed from my ankle, and shouted, "Don't call him that! He is no demon!"

Fenris also stood with a look that stood unconvinced. He shook his head and began to walk over to where the crates and beds were.

"I'm not done! Don't walk away from me!" I yelled, limping after him.

Without a backward glance he spoke, "Yes, you are. And don't walk on that ankle. The longer it takes to heal, the longer we are trapped in here."

"Damnit, Fenris! When did you become so bloody stubborn?!" I screamed, continuing to the crates and flinging myself to grasp one.

"I am who I am," was his reply.

I rolled my eyes at his answer, and shifted my weight to lean against one of the crates to stare at him. I shouldn't have been surprised. He had always been stubborn. In fact, it almost felt like old times. Almost. Except for some reason, I was more furious this time.

We stood in silence for a few moments. I leaned on the crates, continuing to fume, clenching my fists. Fenris, seemingly calm, shuffled with whatever was inside that particular crate next to me.

I jumped at the sound of the lid slamming closed.

Suddenly he whirled around, grasping both of my arms, forcing me to look up into his terrifying eyes. "What do you see in that damn abomination anyway? He is a demon, Hawke! You refuse to see the truth. He will turn on you. He will choose his cause over you any day, and he WILL someday. He values the freedom of those mages above anything in this world. How can you stand to even be in his presence?" The slight pressure on my wound caused me to flinch, as well as the look that he gave me, mere inches away.

I had dreamt of this day for a long time. A day to confront what Fenris did to my heart. He may as well have ripped it out of my chest like I had seen him do to so many of our enemies. He took my heart. And so I decided to reply with a simple phrase that I knew would affect him the most. I looked him straight in the eye and raised my chin. The emotion that I felt caused my voice to waver, but I continued to stand tall as I spoke, "I love him."

For the slightest of seconds, I felt his grip on my arms lessen and his eyebrows draw apart. Something crossed over his eyes, and I swear I saw his mouth slightly slacken. But if any of these things occurred, he recovered quickly and drew his eyebrows even closer together as he leaned closer to me and said, "You lie."

The response took me completely by surprise, and I gasped, my lips parting briefly. The next thing I knew, Fenris quickly dipped his head and captured my lips with his own. I let out a loud gasp as he quickly deepened the kiss and wrapped his arms around my waist. My hands flew up to his hair, and I was dazed by the taste of him. His hands were everywhere at once, and I felt lightheaded instantly. He pulled away only to run his lips along my jaw and down my neck, causing my knees to feel limp. I felt him slightly nip at the skin behind my ear, and I involuntarily let out a moan of pleasure. He let out a moan of his own when he came up to my mouth once more. After an indescribable amount of time, he pulled away and placed his forehead atop mine. Both panting and silent, I closed my eyes, trying to commit every single detail of that kiss to my memory.

"Mariah," he rasped my name, sending shivers down my spine.

How wonderful my name sounded coming from his lips. That voice would always have an incredible effect on me. I angled my head and gave him a sweet kiss as a sort of reward for using my first name. I let out a slight giggle as he growled something in Tevinter and brought me closer. I ran my lips along his lyrium markings everywhere I could reach. Hearing him struggle for breath only encouraged me further and I began to explore his mouth once more.

"Mariah," he repeated, pulling back to look into my eyes.

I looked up through hooded eyes to see his. The look on his face was far from pleasure. He was in agony.

"Mariah, forgive me," he pleaded, grasping both of my hands.

"For what?" I asked, not sure what he was apologizing for_. Did he regret kissing me?_

He closed his eyes and kissed the top of each of my hands. Then, he looked up with a desperate, pleading look. "Everything."

"Fenris?" I quietly asked.

"I never should have left you. Believe me. I replay the memory of that night more often than you could possibly imagine. I was a fool. I still am a fool. I was overwhelmed that night," he began, closing his eyes briefly. "By the memories that flooded back to me, yes, but mostly… the effect you had on me. I used my memories as a mere excuse. It was stupid. I never could have imagined…" he trailed off.

"Never could have imagined what?" I asked softly.

He raised his eyes slowly to mine. "I never could have imagined what I would feel for you. How I do feel about you. It frightened me. I had never desired anything so much in my entire life… or since I could remember. Instead of kissing you once more like I craved…" he closed his eyes once more, cringing. "I fled."

"Yes, you did," I replied softly, looking at our hands. This was my chance. All of the anger and bitterness I held against Fenris could finally be unleashed. Yet, somehow… I felt none. The bitter taste was gone. My heart ached with an entirely different emotion that was infinitely more pleasurable.

"I was a damn fool," he muttered.

"Yes, you were. And quite frankly you still are." I spoke, taking my hands away.

His wide eyes flashed up to mine with a confused tint.

I slowly reached up to his cradle his face with both of my hands. The corners of my lips lifted as I ran my fingers down his neck and across the markings on his arms. I took my time, enjoying hearing his unsteady breathing. Running my hands up along the front of his torso, I cradled his face once more. He still stood stiff and his wide, eyes searched mine.

"But you are my damn fool," I whispered leaning my forehead against his with a sigh.

With lightning fast speed, Fenris angled his head and captured my lips with a possessiveness that literally took the breath out of my lungs. I felt my legs being lifted from the ground and I clung to him tighter. All I could focus on was how incredible he tasted. I couldn't even describe it. It was just incredible.

I felt a thin, lumpy blanket beneath me and Fenris crawl on top of me. He pulled back long enough for me to whisper, "It took you long enough, elf".

My heart soared at his throaty chuckle, and he leaned to kiss my ear, "It will be worth the wait, Mariah."

He pulled back to gaze into my eyes with a hungry smirk and spoke a final phrase before devouring me once more, "I assure you".

* * *

**Sigh…**

**Welp, there it was. Hopefully I didn't build this chapter up too much… I just LOVED writing it. :) **

**As of now, I am concluding this story. I am quite satisfied with this ending. This is exactly the conclusion I was striving for from the very beginning. There is a good chance that I may come back and add another chapter to wrap up the loose ends (like Anders), but as of now, I am happy and ready to move on.**

**Thank you, everyone for following my imagination! I am currently working on starting an Assassin's Creed fanfiction focusing on Ezio. (My fav!) There are plenty more Dragon Age fanfics on the way from me, though.**

**Thank you to everyone again, and I hope to hear from you all again in the future! **


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